For women, having an orgasm can be tricky business—and certainly a bit more complex than it is for most men. We can thank biology for that one, in addition to patriarchal, heteronormative cultural forces that have historically prioritized men’s pleasure over women’s.
When it comes to women getting off, sex experts say the key (at least physically) is to stimulate the clitoris, which is the anatomical equivalent of the penis in terms of structure and sensitivity. But because much of the clitoris is buried in tissue, muscle, and fat, it can be more complicated and time-consuming to stimulate and bring to orgasm. That anatomical difference is one reason why the term “orgasm gap” was coined—because men’s bodies may make it a bit easier for them to come. But, because of outdated societal norms that depicted sex as a vehicle for men to get off, they’ve also traditionally had the luxury of expecting to climax, even if it was at the expense of a woman’s pleasure.
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Research shows that women who sleep with other women or are in long-term relationships have higher orgasm rates, likely because they’re with partners who either understand their bodies better or are more invested in getting them off. That just goes to show that even if women’s bodies are a bit more nuanced, we’re more than capable of bringing home an orgasm under the right circumstances.
To that end, below you’ll find five sex positions, courtesy of sex therapist Marissa Nelson, LMFT, that are geared toward serious clitoral stimulation. Because, while we won’t argue that sex for the sake of connection is fun and all, sometimes a woman just needs to cross the finish line. So let’s all do our part to close the gap!
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