Fans Think Rihanna Teased a New Fenty Beauty Product at the Grammys

Is another Fenty Beauty drop headed our way? Fans have their suspicions after noticing Rihanna performed on the 2018 Grammy Awards stage in makeup that has yet to be accredited to a brand.

This year, music’s biggest night pulled in 19.8 million viewers, providing the perfect opportunity for beauty brands to showcase new and upcoming products. For example, Glossier teased a mystery product on none other than Beyoncé, but other than that, it was status quo for other labels.

Source: Instagram

According to Allure, beauty editors received a product breakdown of Rihanna’s look, but it conveniently left out where her bright purple eyeshadow and bronze lipstick came from. Furthermore, on Ono’s Instagram post of Rihanna, there was simply a tag on Fenty Beauty, but no details about the photo. And, finally, on the Fenty Beauty page itself, there’s not even a shred of evidence that Rihanna went to the awards show.

MORE:Rihanna’s Makeup Artist Reveals the One Product RiRi Never Goes Without

The lack of information surrounding her to-die-for look has caused quite a stir from fans who are practically begging to know if the eyeshadow and lipstick are coming their way soon. One user wrote, “Hoping this means a new Fenty beauty release! ,” while another basically told Rihanna this release better happen: “Can’t wait for that eyeshadow to drop… ”

This isn’t the first time Rihanna has showcased new products before confirming a release, either. But without definite word, we just have to hope there’ll be goodies on the horizon.

Are People in Open Relationships Happier Than Monogamous Couples?

Maybe being surrounded by polyamorous and other consensually non-monogamous relationships makes me biased, but I find that my non-monogamous partners and friends are generally happier than everyone else. Sure, polyamory is difficult and complicated, but the challenges have their rewards, at least in my experience.

I’ve found that people in polyamorous relationships are better communicators, better at identifying and expressing their feelings and excellent conflict managers. Although no one is perfect in relationships, non-monogamists are, in my experience, better than monogamists at dealing with the challenges of relating to others in all sorts of contexts, including sexual, friendship and long-term partnerships.

But that’s all it is: personal experience. As scientists often say, the plural of anecdote is not data. Is my perception of polyamory happiness accurate? Or is it just a matter of chance, of my falling into a particularly positive community of well-practiced non-monogamists who know what they’re doing? To find out, I’ve looked at the research psychologists have published about non-monogamy, which is, thankfully, booming, along with public awareness.

Are Non-monogamists Happier?

Happiness is an especially slippery concept in psychology. The idea of subjective well-being is only one facet of happiness; other scientists talk about meaning, flourishing, gratitude, character strengths, self-regulation and a host of other factors.

So discussing happiness differences between groups can get really complicated. However, an excellent review by Alicia Rubel and Anthony Bogaert suggests that on the whole, non-monogamous people are just as happy as monogamous people. Apparently, swingers score a little higher on some elements, like excitement and novelty, as well as a feeling of social connection and closeness.

According to the same review, consensual non-monogamists drink less, are less likely to use drugs and are more likely to report higher happiness levels.

MORE: How Being a Cam Girl Helped Me Own My Sexuality

What About Their Relationships?

One of the myths about consensual non-monogamy is that it’s a way for people to deal with an unhappy relationship; similarly, some people think that polyamory, by itself, is asking for trouble and leads to separation and divorce, even if it was started under happy circumstances.

When looking at relationship satisfaction, psychologists have four major components: general relationship satisfaction, jealousy, sexual satisfaction and relationship longevity and divorce. Rubel and Bogaert suggest that non-monogamists have relationships that are just as happy, or happier, than monogamous relationships. More recent field research on a large Canadian sample also found that those in open or polyamorous relationships were just as happy as those in monogamous relationships.

More: A Legal Sex Worker on What It’s Really Like to Work in a Brothel

The Rubel and Bogaert review reports that most non-monogamous people are just as or more sexually satisfied than monogamists. Interestingly, many non-monogamists say that engaging in extra-dyadic (“outside the couple) sex has improved their primary couple sex life as well.

The Canadian study also confirmed previous research about non-monogamy and sexual orientation: People in the LGBTQ community were more likely to be non-monogamous. However, it did report that a significant portion of heterosexuals also had non-monogamous relationships. People in consensually non-monogamous relationships are also more likely to test for HIV and other STIs and report better general health according to research by James Fleckenstein and Derrell Cox II.

Bt what about jealousy? The evidence suggests that non-monogamous people are just as likely to get jealous, at least early in the relationship. A possible explanation, according to Rubel and Bogaert, is that non-monogamists interpret jealousy differently and are more likely to believe that jealousy can be overcome or even used as a way to make the relationship stronger.

As far as longevity goes, the evidence is difficult to interpret. Some studies show that non-monogamists are just as committed as monogamists; others say the opposite. Because studying relationship longevity is more complex than a “snapshot in time,” the information is less conclusive. However, most studies show that there is no significant difference between monogamy and consensual non-monogamy when it comes to longevity, commitment, separation and divorce.

Monogamy vs. Polyamory

Ask a polyamorist what they get out of their relationships, and you’ll often hear things like “personal growth and development,” “variety of partners and experiences” and “getting all my needs fulfilled by different people.”

On the other side, monogamists will say they get benefits like more frequent sex, safety from sexually transmitted infections, more durable commitment and a better environment for children. However, an article by Terri Conley, Ali Ziegler, Amy Moors, Jes Matsick and Brandon Valentine suggests that all these things are not exclusive to monogamy. The only perceived benefit of monogamy is that of moral superiority: In a mono-normative culture, engaging in open relationships, swinging or polyamory carries the risk of being seen as immoral. In other words, the only benefit of monogamy, at least with the evidence we currently have, is that it’s the default relationship style, which means you don’t risk social ostracism, especially in more conservative or religious communities.

MORE: The Transgender Woman’s Field Guide to Dating
Do What Works for You

So what does all this evidence say? That whatever you prefer you will be happiest in. No relationship type is inherently superior to the other. The only issue with monogamy is that we often engage in it without thinking about what it means because it’s the default. The benefits that consensually non-monogamous people get are often just derived from their ability to talk about it and to work things through together. In fact, this is where monogamists have the most to learn: how to stop making assumptions and to engage in conscious, deliberate relationships.

Originally posted on SheKnows.

How I Learned to Love My Skin Without an Acne ‘Success Story’

Writing about my acne is, in the best way I can describe it, a freeing, but cruel act. Not only is it a reminder that I’m still struggling to achieve clear skin, but I’m also disclosing my seven year odyssey (yes, I chose this word purposefully) to strangers. However, the two things that make this experience feel cruel, are the two things that also make it freeing. In talking about my skin, in releasing society’s and my own personal stigma surrounding how my looks, I’m also able to free myself from the idea that clear skin equates “better.” Period. Not just better skin, but a better life, better looks— better everything.

I’ve read op-ed pieces about people who have acne and always found myself disappointed in the end. I read along thinking, “there’s people just like me!,” but then the final paragraph transitions to their “success story.” It usually goes like this: they cut out dairy, their skin is instantly blemish-free and now, they’ve never felt more beautiful. And if it’s not that scenario, they simply bit the bullet and opted for Accutane. The list goes on and on with home remedies and clinical treatments like aspirin paste or more sleep, but, without fail, each ends with clear skin.

MORE: Kendall Jenner Fires Back at Critics Who Shamed Her for Walking a Red Carpet with Acne

No matter the “solution,” with it came the expected exchange of tireless trial-and-error for a improved level of self-esteem. Before clear skin, they were depressed, anxious, uncomfortable with their looks and unhappy.  As I finish reading and scan photos of smooth chin shots, I’m left feeling depleted. When will it be my turn to feel beautiful and post photos of my face without wanting to rip my skin off? Is every acne story supposed to make me hate my skin even more?

Courtesy of Author

I’ve spent too much of my life loathing my skin. My first encounter with acne came in seventh grade. I remember being self-conscious and disgruntled by it, despite telling myself it was normal. My older brother had acne throughout high school, my mom suffered when she was young, and basically everyone going through puberty did, too. Steadily though, as people’s bumps began to disappear, mine got worse. So, I finally took the plunge and went to a dermatologist, only to be loaded down with antibiotics, topicals and rubs.

Nothing completely “fixed” my skin. I detested going to the dermatologist because all they did was scrutinize my skin, which made me feel like I had Dots paper candy covering my face. I would look in the mirror, stare at my skin, and with my hands, cover up my chin or all the way up to my eyes to see how much better I would look if I didn’t have red, aching bumps. Some days, I felt completely debilitated. I didn’t want to go anywhere or to talk to anyone; I just wanted to take a knife and scrape my skin clean.

But I kept trying to find new ways to make myself look more ideal. At the end of my freshman year of college, I learned my acne is hormonal. This means antibiotics work, but I can’t stay on them forever. I experienced clear skin for a whole year on Minocycline before they had to wean me off. I cried as breakouts started to occur again. Where did I go wrong? I washed my face, did what I was told, and tried to eat healthy. I spent so much time asking, “why me?” as I envied women with radiant, clear skin.

MORE: Here’s Why Adults Have More Acne than Teens

Eventually, I realized there’s not much else I can do, so I need to start loving me for me. I have a blood disorder, which means I have to steer clear of birth control. Depression and anxiety also keep me away from Accutane, and breast cancer runs in my family, so the obscure drug Spironolactone is automatically ruled out. If I have acne, it means just that— I have acne. However, it doesn’t define or limit me. And even as I write that with complete confidence, I know I don’t believe it all the time. It’s damn hard. But I am starting to believe it more and more.

Source: Instagram

Society might try to tell me I need to have perfect skin to live a healthy, beautiful life— and as much as I wish I didn’t have to worry about my skin— I can still achieve those things with acne. I’m grateful the conversation around acne is changing. With stars embracing their natural skin and more articles discussing adult acne, the navigation around accepting my skin has been aided by these faint streetlights.

MORE: Saoirse Ronan Showed Off Her Acne Scars in ‘Lady Bird’ to Represent a Real Teenager

But I’ve also learned, in the words of singer Jamila Woods, that I need to wake up each “morning with my mind set on loving me.” I might have bad skin days, good skin days and eventually, skin days where acne never even crosses my mind. 

Courtesy of Author

Where one would normally post their transformation photo, I leave you with a photo of what I look like right now while writing this article. I’m wearing no makeup, not trying to cover any of my acne, and as scared as I am to show it, here’s to taking a major leap into skin-acceptance.

6 Times Sofia and Nicole Richie Were the Most Relatable Celebrity Sisters

We know the Kardashians. We know the Hadids. But do you know the Richie sisters, Nicole and Sofia Richie? Despite their 17-year age difference, Sofia and Nicole have a lot more in common than you think. Just take a look at one episode of Nicole’s show, “Candidly Nicole,” and you’ll see how wickedly funny, ridiculously entertaining, and immensely relatable the Richie sisters are.

And though Nicole has been in the spotlight for years (we learned of her crude-yet-hilarious sense of humor on her “Simple Life” days), we’re only starting to get to know Sofia. To prove that the Richie sisters could be Hollywood’s next “It” family, we rounded up six relatable moments from “Candidly Nicole,” where Nicole and Sofia give the Hadids, Kardashians, and Jenners a run for their money. Check them out, below.

1. When They Grilled Their Dad on Who He Thinks Is Prettier

If you have a sibling, you know that sibling rivalry doesn’t end until your parents pick a favorite. To end the debate once and for all, Sofia and Nicole sat their dad, Lionel Richie, down to grill him on who he thinks is prettier. The discussion started with who Lionel thinks has prettier hands. When he couldn’t decide—complimenting the cleanliness of Sofia’s nails and the boldness of Nicole’s nail polish color—the argument got heated. To escape from a potentially dangerous situation, Lionel ended with words on sibling rivalry won’t get his daughters anywhere. “This is where I back out as a father. Goodbye, everybody. Good seeing you. Thank you very much. Goodnight,” he said.

2. When Nicole Tried to Kill Sofia by Choking Her

What’s the point of having a younger sibling if you can’t (softly) beat them up a little? Nicole knows this well, which is why when her and Sofia went to a mixed martial arts training session with professional fighter, Miesha Tate, she had on goal in sight: kill her little sister. (Not seriously, of course.) At one point, Nicole had Sofia in a chokehold and asked Tate how to cut off her air supply. When she did the move Tate instructed her to do, Nicole asked Sofia if she was breathing. “Kind of,” Sofia replied, to which Nicole said, “She’s always breathing. It’s so annoying.”

3. When They Teamed Up to Drag Their Dad About His Texting Behavior

The only people siblings love to tease more than each other are their parents. Because they don’t understand why their dad uses seven exclamation points and all caps in his texts, they sat him down for an intervention on his texting habits. They instructed him that, at most, two exclamation points are fine if he wants to convey yelling. (“Five is like, ‘I’m screaming at you!'” Sofia said.) They also told him to stop using all caps, especially when he’s asking them mundane questions. “I’ve gotten like, ‘HOW’S YOUR DAY!'” Sofia said.

4. When Sofia Taught Nicole What ‘Turnt Up’ Means

Nicole isn’t a regular big sister. She’s a cool big sister. To learn the lingo that the kids use these days, Nicole sat down with Nicole and a few of her friends. She learned that words like “crunk” and “gnarly” were no longer in style. Instead, “turnt” was the preferred term if she wanted to express how wild a party was. (This in 2013, so the language may have changed.) Sofia also instructed her big sis on what “homie hopper” means, something that Nicole later tweeted her enlightenment about. “I like a boy and then I date that and then I date that boy’s best friend a year later,” Sofia explained.

MORE: 10 Times Gigi and Bella Hadid Appeared on “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills”

5. When Nicole’s Dad Accidentally Called Her ‘Sofia’

The worst thing parents can do is call their kids by their sibling’s name. This happened when Nicole and Sofia joined their dad in his backyard to help them trim his bushes for Father’s Day. Amid the gardening, Lionel turns to Nicole and asks her, “How you doing, Sof?” Without skipping a beat, Nicole responded, “My name is Nicole.” Lionel tried to recover by saying, “Nic. I’m sorry, Nic,” but the damage was done. “And I’m doing a great job,” Nicole icily responded.

6. When Nicole Pretended to Be Sofia’s Mom So She Could Get a Piercing

The best part about having a sibling almost twice your age is being able to pretend that they’re your parental guardian. When Sofia wanted to get a piercing behind her dad’s back, she recruited Nicole and they headed to the piercing shop. When the employee told Sofia that she needs a parent or a legal guardian to sign a consent form for her, Nicole volunteered. “I’m her mom,” Nicole said. What a homie.

 

Chrissy Teigen Shares Her Best Kept Secrets About Coconut Oil

We’re never done finding ways to use coconut oil, the multi-tasker that’s proven time and time again to be beneficial for our hair, skin and appetites. Chrissy Teigen, model and TV host, has also harnessed the ingredient in a multitude of ways— one of which you won’t believe.

In an interview with Bustle, she copped to keeping coconut oil on her body almost 24/7, especially now that she’s pregnant with her second child (spoiler alert: it’s a boy!). Although she’s tried to maintain a beauty routine that includes drinking lots of water, it’s been difficult to keep up “when you are pregnant and you’re always out of breath and always dehydrated and always dry.” As a result, the easy and effective moisturizer has taken some precedent.

Source: Instagram

Depending on your body’s chemistry (because it doesn’t work for everyone), coconut oil typically melts and absorbs immediately into the skin without leaving a residue behind. In fact, Teigen revealed she even uses it on her nipples during pregnancy. If that sounds a little bizarre to you, don’t worry, because it’s completely safe. In a past interview with  Romper, International Board- Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) Tera Hamann revealed that coconut oil is actually great for treating and healing nipple pain during lactation.

Source: Instagram

If you’re not in the same boat, and don’t plan on doing it in the future, Teigen offers another way to incorporate coconut into your beauty and wellness goals. She’s adopted coconut milk— cheaper and more flavorful than almond milk— into almost all of her food dishes.

MORE: Rihanna’s Makeup Artist Reveals the One Product RiRi Never Goes Without

If coconut oil and milk is all it takes to look as radiant and hydrated as Teigen, we’ll be adding both to our shopping cart, stat. 

10 Authentically Body-Positive Fashion Brands That are Changing the Industry

In the last year, the fashion industry took more and more steps toward inclusivity, female empowerment, and putting a stop to retouching, body-shaming, and discrimination. While the industry is still far from perfect, there are a few brands that walk their talk when it comes to being inclusive in every way.

Praise to brands like Aerie for not retouching bodies and using models of every shape, size and color, brands like eShakti for providing completely customizable clothing to fit your body perfectly, and finally brands like ModCloth, ASOS and Swimsuits For All who provide clothing from straight through plus sizing.

Below we are outlining 13 brands who have shaken up things in the industry and started paving the way towards more body-positive brandings.

eShakti

Meet your completely customizable retailer, eShakti, a.k.a your new best friend. They offer sizes from 0-36W and complete customization through exact body measurements, various options for necklines and sleeves, and garment length to fit your height. Talk about a new way to shop without breaking the bank.

Aerie

Aerie stopped retouching their photos a couple years ago and started being more inclusive with diverse models and sizing. We love that they embrace stretch lines, cellulite and real bodies.

MORE: 31 of Our Favorite Curvy Brands and What to Shop from Them

ModCloth

Modcloth is your perfect mix of feminine, vintage and quirky. There’s something for everyone and they offer garments in straight to plus sizing—and what’s even better, they actually show pictures of two models (straight and plus sizing) to see what both look like in the garment. Can we get a round of applause please?

ASOS

We can’t help but spend hours online shopping on ASOS and calling it our one-stop-shop, because they literally have everything and more. They offer various sizing from straight, curve, plus, as well as maternity, tall and petite styles.

MORE: 12 Body Positive Instagrammers to Follow Now

Old Navy

Old Navy is one our classic favorites. They have great prices, tons of stylish options, and sizing for all.  They also make sure their advertisements, social media and models are diverse and the brand promotes body positivity.

Swimsuits For All

We dare you to scroll through Swimsuits For All’s Instagram account and not feel empowered, more confident or want to immediately throw on a bikini and head to the beach. They are a brand that has definitely walked the walk and talked the talk, and we believe that they foster an interactive, and engaged community with their customers and promote loving your body, whether you’re a size 4 or 34.

Eloquii

Eloquii is one of our favorite plus size brands. They offer sizes 14-28 and focus on “fashion for the style driven, fit obsessed customer”. They design fun, trend-forward pieces with great structure and affordable prices.

Dear Kate

Dear Kate is a “fear-proof, worry-free undies and apparel” company who helps you get through any period, literally. Their branding is relatable, chill and girl power positive.

Target

Who else could spend hours wandering through the aisles of target and feel right at home? Target offers a wide selection on in-house brands, sizing and plenty of options for every personal style. We love how they promote body positivity, real women and attainable style.

Dressbarn

Dressbarn offers clothing sizes 2-24 and does a great job on social media showing pictures of their db Brand Ambassadors, who are real women wearing Dressbarn. It has created a great community for the brand and shows off how women all over style the pieces on their own.

Beauty Products With Borderline-NSFW Names

We’re understandably satisfied when a beauty product actually works, but sometimes, its cheeky name is what really draws us in. The experts tasked with developing clever monikera for our everyday must-haves are among the luckiest in the beauty industry and we have them to thank for making our routines a little more exciting.

MORE: The Newbie Beauty Finds We’re Already Loving in 2018

With January finally ending (because it felt like forever!) and Valentine’s Day just around the corner, we’re paying a little extra attention to the cleverly-named products with a slightly NSFW twist. From “orgasmic” blush to “dirty” nail polish, these are the sexy finds we can’t wait to whip out and rock fearlessly on February 14 and beyond.

15 Celebrities Who Nailed Baby Bangs and Gave Us Major Hair Envy

Bangs are one the most controversial hair decisions out there. Should you get them and risk looking like your third grade cousin who always has jelly on her cheeks? Or even worse—you’re past seventh grade self who cut her own bangs and ended up looking like a coconut head (sigh, this was definitely me)? Amidst all the room for debacle, we have good news: Bangs of any length are back in style, which means no matter what you do to your fringe, it’s going to be on-trend.

And hot on the trend list right now are baby bangs. You might remember them from the early ‘00’s, “Amelie“-style or all the way up to 2014 when Beyoncé rocked the barely-there bangs. As intimidating as the chop may seem, we’ve gathered 15 different stylings of today’s best baby bangs to peruse at your leisure. From Jourdan Dunn’s sharp, blunt editorial take to Ariana Grande’s wispy and textured ‘do, you’ll have plenty of modern options to choose from.

MORE: Shailene Woodley’s Gorgeous, Wispy New Bangs Are Giving Us Serious Hair Inspo

Like Kris Jenner once told her daughter Khloé, you’re going to look bangin’ in those bangs.

25 Celebrities on the Regular Jobs They Had Before They Became Famous

It’s easy to imagine celebrities as these high-ranking, unattainable people who we will never meet—let alone live the same lives as. But everyone has to start from somewhere—even astronomically famous stars like Jennifer Aniston, Johnny Depp, and Rihanna. And yes, before they became chart-topping pop stars and award-winning actors, these stars made ends meet at grunt-work jobs, too.

MORE: 12 Uncanny Times Celebrities Impersonated Other Celebrities

From the Grammy-winning rapper who sold sweaters at Gap, to the past president who scooped ice cream at Baskin-Robbins, to the A-list actor who used teach P.E. at high school, we collected the most random, surprising, and ordinary first jobs celebrities held before making it big. Take a look at which Oscar nominee used to be a phone-sex worker, and more, ahead.

The Newest Clay Masks to Try for a Serious Skin Detox

There is nothing novel about clay in skin care. It’s a powerhouse ingredient with ancient history and straightforward benefits, but we can’t help but notice it’s staging a mini comeback in 2018. We’re barely a month into the New Year and some of our favorite brands, both high-end and drugstore, have already unleashed a handful of detoxifying formulas that our skin could use a little more of this winter and beyond.

But before we get into the new kids on the block, a brief breakdown (get a full one here) on the most widely used clays of the moment and why experts can’t stop utilizing them:

Bentonite Clay: A highly porous substance with electric properties that can absorb great amounts of excess oil when mixed with water.

Kaolin Clay: An exfoliator whose different color variations yield different benefits. For instance, white kaolin is gentle enough for sensitive skin while red kaolin is slightly tougher and recommended for oily skin.

Rhassoul Clay: A negatively charged ingredient that’ll instantly suck up skin toxins, which are almost always positively charged. However, it can be super drying if used in excess.

French Green Clay: This sea-born clay is so absorbent that in addition to absorbing oil, it also pulls blood toward the surface of your skin, resulting in better circulation and regeneration of new cells.

Fuller Earth’s Clay: This multitasker totes such powerful absorption capabilities that it’s even used in kitty litter and to spot-dry-clean fabrics.

MORE: How 5 Different Types of Clay Benefit Your Skin

Clean & Clear

Clean & Clear Night Relaxing Detox Clay Mask

This brand has a number of cult favorites on its roster, but could we have a new classic on our hands? Its newest product is this deep-cleaning face treatment that includes a handful of clay ingredients, including bentonite and kaolin, to destroy oil and makeup residue at the end of a long day. And with a mere $5 price tag, it’s hard to say no to this one.

$5.49 at Target

Honest Beauty

Honest Beauty 3-in-1 Detox Mud Mask

Even Jessica Alba had to put her stamp on a clay-infused mask. The newest addition to her Honest Beauty family is infused with a group of deep-cleansing ingredients (volcanic ash, activated charcoal, white bentonite) and conditioners (sea buckthorn oil, manuka honey, shea butter) to ensure that your skin is pampered to perfection by day’s end.

$22 at Honest Beauty

MORE: De-Puff Your Eyes with These Celebrity-Approved Tricks

Dear by Renee

Dear by Renee Purifying Kaolin Mask

This new skin care line combines two of our favorite things: clinically tested dermatological technologies and naturally derived ingredients. We’re pretty sure its exfoliating face mask will be an instant hit, thanks to a balanced mix of antiseptic properties and detoxifying kaolin clay.

$49.95 at Dear by Renee

L’Oreal Paris

L’Oreal Clarify & Smooth Pure Clay Mask

The newest member of the Pure Clay family is this kaolin-, Moroccan lava–, and montmorillonite clay–infused mask, made with yuzu lemon extract to further clarify freshly detoxed skin.

$12.99 at L’Oreal Paris

MORE: Ultra-Rich Moisturizers for Shielding Your Skin Against the Cold

Clarins

Clarins SOS Pure Rebalancing Clay Mask

This 10-minute treatment was made especially for oily/combination skin, as its clay formula also includes alpine willow herb, a prime ingredient for shrinking pores and minimizing shine.

$34 at Clarins

I’m Pregnant (on Purpose!), but I’d Rather Talk About the Abortion I Had 3 Years Ago

By Mélanie Berliet

As I watched a blue cross dare to emerge on the second stick I had peed on within 10 minutes, I grew more and more aggravated. It was July 16, 2014, six days after I was supposed to get my period. “I’m fucking pregnant!!!” I screamed with more than a hint of accusation toward my boyfriend, who was waiting patiently for my signal in the next room. Then I slammed the bathroom door shut and sat back down on the toilet.

I was mad at my boyfriend for impregnating me, mad at the injustice of being born a woman and mad at my reproductive organs for doing exactly what they were designed to do. Mostly, however, I was mad at myself for trusting in the pullout method for five straight years.

Staring at my reflection in the medicine cabinet mirror, I recalled the disapproval on my gynecologist’s face as she asked me about birth control during my previous annual exam. “The only thing your boyfriend should be pulling out of regularly is a parking space,” she’d said.

“OK, then. Let’s just say he withdraws,” I’d replied, a little too cheekily.

“What are you, an ATM?”

Deaf to reason, I politely declined a prescription for the pill yet again. Although I wasn’t sexually active until age 19, I started taking oral contraceptives at 16, shortly after I began menstruating. Back then, it was cool to be “on the pill.” I wanted to tuck that circular nude plastic case with the rotating knob inside my backpack and whine about how hard it was to remember to pop that little pill every single day at the exact same time. So I hit up my gyno for a prescription, casually citing an irregular cycle and cramps I’d never really had.

At 27, suddenly uncomfortable with the fact that I’d been popping a daily dose of hormones for over a decade, I decided to stop taking the pill altogether. It took six months for my sex drive to skyrocket.

I was hooking up with an impossibly attractive, charismatic guy (the one who would later become my life partner) on a lawn chair late one summer night when I realized how much more I had come to enjoy sex over the past few months—even the random, no-strings-attached kind. It was as if I’d reclaimed some critical piece of my identity that had been buried way too long, and I attributed this sudden awakening to my personal birth control ban.

Unwilling to ditch my inner nymph once we were acquainted, I swore off the pill for good. I made this decision singlehandedly—without consulting a medical professional or considering that something else might account for my enhanced sexuality, such as age or the fact that I’d just abandoned a stressful Wall Street career that depressed the fuck out of me. Plus, there were always condoms, I figured. So I relied on those good, old-fashioned penis sheaths for several years, always armed with my own supply in case a dude pulled the lame “I don’t have any” line.

In 2011, however, when I started dating the man I knew I could grow old with, condoms started to seem a lot more like barriers to pleasure than barriers to unwanted pregnancies. As an exclusive, disease-free couple, we decided to ditch condoms altogether (what the polyamorous call “fluid bonding,” I hear). Bareback sex felt a lot better. Plus, I’d read somewhere that pulling out was 99 percent effective when executed correctly, which sounded like a pretty sweet stat to me.

Until, of course, I got pregnant.

MORE: Never Ignore These 6 Early Pregnancy Signs

Still isolated in the bathroom, I placed both hands on my lower abdomen. Looking down, I considered the little fucker of a fertilized egg inside my uterus—a true 1-percenter. Also proof that I’d been a glib idiot.

With a sigh of disbelief, I stood, “positive” sticks in hand. It was time to face reality, and my sperminator of a boyfriend. “Let’s talk about this,” my boyfriend urged, radiating kindness and concern in response to my silence. “We want a baby one day anyway… Maybe this isn’t such a bad thing.”

A reasonable statement given the facts. At 32, I was smack in the middle of my prime childbearing years. I was in a healthy, long-term relationship with the man I’d long considered the love of my life and the future father of my children. As a couple, we were financially stable with a wide network of supportive friends and family members living within last-minute babysitting range. We had the means and the desire to raise a child together.

The thing is, I wasn’t ready—yet. I didn’t want to have an abortion. But, far more important, I didn’t want to have a baby. “I’m getting an abortion,” I blurted. “That’s my decision.” Then I marched right out the front door, aching for alone time.

MORE: 10 Pieces of Pregnancy Advice I’m Glad I Ignored

On a bench outside our apartment building, I thought about the abortion I knew I had to get. I had several deadlines looming and a photo shoot planned for later that day. I felt fortunate to live in New York, where women’s reproductive rights are protected more steadfastly than in other states. Still, it seemed so damn inconvenient, not to mention terrifying, to undergo a surgical procedure. I’m squeamish by nature, and I had no idea what an abortion actually entailed.

I also must admit I didn’t want to be a woman “who’s had an abortion.” As a longtime supporter of the pro-abortion rights movement, my aversion to this hypothetical label didn’t make much sense. And yet, it did. As certain as I was in my mind and heart that abortion was the right choice for me, I must have internalized some of the poisonous stigma out there. That would have to change, effective immediately.

Could my boyfriend and I have been more careful? Absolutely! But it was my unequivocal right to terminate this unplanned pregnancy. I headed back upstairs to apologize to my well-meaning boyfriend so we could tackle the situation together without any shame whatsoever. Before I could utter the word “sorry,” he was holding me tight.

In the time I’d been gone, he had made several calls and done extensive research. He briefed me on my options: taking a pill and bleeding out at home, or “aspiration,” which sounded a lot like high-powered uterine vacuuming.

“I want this done as soon as possible, and I want to be out cold for it,” I said.

“We can get you in tomorrow morning,” my boyfriend replied, rubbing my back.

Twenty-four hours later, I was seated in a waiting room with three other young women, all of us dressed in medical gowns and booties—and starving. If you elect for full anesthesia during aspiration, you have to fast for at least 12 hours in advance to avoid choking on your own vomit during the procedure.

Image: Mélanie Berliet

After joking that I’d considered postponing my appointment just so I could eat breakfast that morning, I bonded with my peers. Of the group, I was the only one without at least one child to care for already. I was also the only one whose “pregnancy sac” was too minuscule to spot on a regular ultrasound. And the only one who’d told the nurse, somewhat regrettably, that she was “such a baby” about needles.

But our similarities are what stood out. We were all relaxed and glad to be moments away from getting the medical attention we needed so we could move on with our lives as usual. Soon enough, an amiable aide ushered me into the operating room and an anesthesiologist sedated me so the doctor could clear my womb of its unwanted contents. The entire procedure took all of three minutes.

I woke up in a chair alongside a few other women, wearing paper panties lined with a pad in case of spotting. Though zonked from the anesthetic, I was astute enough to feel intense relief. And gratitude. Over the next 48 hours, my boyfriend catered to my every need while I recuperated.

“What should I tell Gary about this weekend?” he asked, understanding that I wasn’t in any shape to spend time at our friend’s beach house as we’d planned.

“Tell him I got an abortion,” I said.

MORE: Everything That Happens to Hair and Skin During Pregnancy

So, it’s official. I am a woman who’s had an abortion—not because circumstances dictated that it was medically necessary or because she didn’t love the man who impregnated her or because she couldn’t afford to raise a kid or because she’s decided to remain childless forever. I am a woman who’s had an abortion, and it doesn’t really matter why. It was my choice and one that my boyfriend and I (we’re still very much together and happier than ever, if that even matters) proudly stand by.

Maybe there is no “right time” to get pregnant, but in my case, I knew there’d be a time more right than July of 2014. And guess what? That more-right time arrived in the fall of 2016 when we decided, very mindfully, to start trying. Today, I am nearly 18 weeks pregnant, and I couldn’t be more psyched about becoming a mom.

This story was brought to you by Thought Catalog and Quote Catalog.

The ‘Black Panther’ World Premiere Delivered a Sea of Black Beauty Inspo

It’s official: my edges have been completely snatched and all it took was the star-studded world premiere of “Black Panther.” The superhero flick, set to hit theaters on February 16, is well on its way to being one of Marvel’s top-selling and best-reviewed films ever. And that’s due in part to a ridiculously talented cast of predominantly black actors.

From industry heavyweights like Angela Bassett and Forest Whitaker to newer household names like Lupita Nyong’o and Michael B. Jordan, the collective energy of this illustrious group has already made “Panther” a future classic we’ve already reserved our tickets for. Last night, these A-listers practically shut down Los Angeles to celebrate the Ryan Coogler-helmed project and as expected, took our breath away with their royal-themed garb and equally stunning hairstyles. In a world where black hair is still being policed and critiqued, I stan everytime I see women wield their influence to highlight the beauty of textured strands and melanin.

So to say that I am obsessed with all of these looks would be a vast understatement. Ahead are the ladies that continue to deliver the black beauty inspo Hollywood needs:

MORE: The Must-Follow Instagram Accounts for Black Beauty Inspo

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Chloe and Halle are not only the singing sister duo under Beyoncé‘s tutelage; they’re also starring on the one of the hottest new TV shows: “Grownish.” We love how these two are constantly styling their locs into stunning styles on and off the red carpet. Their matching merlot lipstick makes for the perfect finishing touch.

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Danai Gurira shaved her entire head for “Black Panther” and although we were loving her beautiful baldie, she’s equally gorgeous in a TWA (teeny weeny afro). If you look closely, you can also see yellow eyeliner on the inner corner of each eye; so chic.

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Issa Rae flashed her megawatt smile on the red carpet and commanded our attention with her regal top knot, shimmery magenta shadow and inverted cat eye.

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Angela Bassett plays the matriarch of Wakanda in “Black Panther;” a fitting role for someone who we consider a pioneering black woman in the film industry. We can only hope to look this flawless when we’re 59 years old.

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Although Janelle Monae kept her pixie haircut covered under a pillbox hat, the actress and singer delivered a multi-colored makeup slay, opting for purple eyeliner and ravishing red lipstick.

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We have Vernon Francois to thank for creating this epic, towering top knot on Lupita Nyong’o. The Oscar winner looks like royalty when she’s off-duty, but we’re officially bowing down, thanks to this super glam moment.

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Meagan Good was one of the first celebrities to rock faux locs on the red carpet and we’re so happy to see she opted for what’s now her signature hairstyle. This blonde shade looks gorgeous against her brown skin.

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Yara Shahidi‘s hair is what afro dreams are made of. We need to know what juices and berries she’s using to make it look so damn luscious.

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Sydelle Noel also entrusted her hair to Francois and looked like an actual queen in this blown out half-up, half down look.

25 Plaid Street Style Looks That Reinvent the Traditional Print

There’s a reason plaid is a perennial favorite. Checkered looks always manage to make you look polished and pulled together, yet with a little vision, it’s easy to spin the traditionally preppy print in cool, modern ways.

You probably already have a classic combo featuring the plaid piece that you tend to reach for time and time again—cue the go-to button-up and skinny jean pairing. But if you feel like you’re in a fashion rut when it comes to styling the tartan pieces in your closet, look to street style stars for some fresh ideas.

MORE: 19 Snuggly Teddy Coats to Shop Right Now

Whether you go bold and pair a checkered coat over clashing prints or opt for a streamlined look in a coordinated plaid set, take these ladies’ lead when it comes to styling, and then shop our favorite plaid looks available now.

Cardi B Claps Back at Troll Who Accused Her of Ignoring Sick Kids at the Grammys

From her off-the-cuff red carpet interviews to her slay-worthy performance with Bruno Mars, Cardi B was a star at the 2018 Grammy Awards on Sunday night. But not everyone was pleased with her behavior. On Monday, the 25-year-old was slammed and accused by an eyewitness of ignoring and denying selfies to terminally ill children from the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

The witness, who stood in a pen behind the children on the red carpet, allegedly watched the “Bodak Yellow” rapper walk past seven Make-A-Wish-Foundation kids, who were invited to the Grammys to meet nominees, and only returned when she was urged by her publicist. The user accused Cardi of using he opportunity for publicity, and compared her to other artists who approached the kids on their own accord.

https://twitter.com/natekgarner/status/957860256566136832 https://twitter.com/natekgarner/status/957861251333459968

MORE: Cardi B Clapped Back at an Instagram Troll Who Came for Her Sister

After hearing the news, Cardi clapped back in a now-deleted social media post, explaining that she didn’t purposefully ignore the kids, but was rushed because she was late for a last-minute performance rehearsal. The “Bartier Cardi” rapper slammed the user for coming at her without all the evidence, and warned him to not try her again.

“When white People got nothing to talk about. I keep seeing this shit,” Cardi wrote. “FIRST OF ALL. [I] wasn’t even able to speak to so many outlets and i was extremely rush cause i was late for pre check for performance. Second i did stop and i said hi and i took a pic. IM NOT THAT INDUSTRY BITCH YOU WANNA TRY. I will violate you and in real life as well don’t make me catch your ass again. [I] will crush your shit.”

Source: Instagram

MORE: The Most Fashionable Red Carpet Looks from the 2018 Grammy Awards

Regardless of what the real story is, it’s presumptuous to assume someone’s intentions or behavior based on a short interaction. Cardi might’ve actually been rushed, and it’s unfair to assume that she was seeking publicity without knowing the full story. Plus, she’s warned trolls multiple times, don’t come for.

How Top Blogger Luhsetty Would Spend $40 on Hair Products at Target

We can spot her mega-watt smile and gorgeous, highlighted curls from miles away. And with over 1.3 million subscribers on YouTube, Lisette, otherwise known as Luhhsetty, is our undisputed curly girl crush. She’s proven herself as a well-informed blogger on a range of topics; from hair care to feminine hygiene to totally do-able glam makeup looks. In short: we love each and every one of her uploads.

Source: Instagram

Since beauty influencers are bombarded with free products to test and review, we know that whatever Lisette would drop actual cash on means it’s majorly good for her golden curls. And since Target is slowly turning into a mecca of natural hair care, we can’t help but wonder how she would spend a modest amount of cash…$40, to be exact.

Ahead are the four products she swears by for cleansing and styling her famous spirals.

MORE: The Best Curl-Defining Products for Textured Hair

Carol’s Daughter

Carol’s Daughter Black Vanilla Moisture and Shine Sulfate-Free Shampoo

“Carol’s Daughter Black Vanilla Moisture and Shine shampoo is sulfate-free and perfect for my color-treated hair. It also cleans my hair without stripping the moisture out, so my hair doesn’t feel dry and lifeless once I rinse.”

$10, at Target 

Carol’s Daughter

Carol’s Daughter Black Vanilla Moisture and Shine Hydrating Conditioner

“This conditioner gives me just the right amount of ‘slip’ to easily detangle my hair in the shower. I like to apply a generous amount to my hair and comb it through with a wide tooth comb. Leave it on for 10 minutes and then rinse out with cold water.”

$10, at Target

MORE: The Tried-and-True Methods for Making Your Textured Curls Spiral

Curls

Curls Blueberry Bliss Reparative Leave In Conditioner

 “This is hands down one of my favorite conditioners! It smells like blueberries and moisturizes my strands without weighing them down.”

$10, at Target

SheaMoisture

SheaMoisture Coconut and Hibiscus Curl Enhacing Smoothie

“This is a go-to product that I always find myself reaching for. I apply a quarter-size amount into my palms and rake it through my curls. It defines them without leaving my curls crunchy or hard.”

$10, at Target