Kim Kardashian’s New Yeezy Slides Have Me Seriously Disturbed

We, as a society, need to talk about Kim Kardashian’s new Yeezy slides. The fashion icon is known for showing off her hubby Kanye West’s latest designs on her IG Stories, but her most recent humble brag has left me seriously disturbed, because, well—these shoes are ugly AF.

Let me get this out of the way: To each their own! If you saw these foot monstrosities and thought, “OMG, is there a waitlist I can join to pre-order them???” then I truly hope you get them. The rest of us will be at my house, quaking in fear over the sheer horror of how downright bizarre they truly are. It’s like Ye went to the kitchen for a midnight snack in his Crocs slides, accidentally dropped a piece of Swiss cheese on his foot, looked down and experienced a burst of inspiration.

Oh, you haven’t seen them? Feast your eyes on the Insta Story screenshot below, in which Kardashian cooed, “You guys, look at these new Yeezy slides!” She also showed off some new Yeezy Boost Sneaker colorways, and while I didn’t love them either, I’m picking my battles. The slides are by far the worst.

Courtesy of Kim Kardashian/Instagram.

Not even Kardashian’s perfectly-tanned legs and fresh white pedi can distract from how weird these new slides are. It feels generous to compare them to swiss cheese, but really, I can’t think of much else. Rotting bark? A child’s first attempt at cutting out a paper snowflake? The baby puke colorway isn’t wildly off-brand, but as far as neutrals go, it’s not my fave. I can’t help but feel like they’d be the perfect house slippers for Shrek…Major swamp vibes, if you know what I mean.

That said, we all know they’ll probably sell like hot cakes. West is known for dropping styles that the public immediately perceives as fugly—need I remind you of the Foam RNNR Sneakers? Sooner or later, they always become the It pieces we’re all fighting to get our hands on. Whether that’s because the fashion industry is simply going through it or because Kim Kardashian really is that damn powerful, I’ll never know. Either way, I expect all the most annoying influencers to post photos with these slides on come Summer 2021.

Kim, queen, I love that you support your man, but stick to promoting SKIMS on your Instagram Stories, not Swiss cheese slides. These are so bad, they almost make the $78 for The Slides feel worth it.