When used for fantasy inspiration, porn can be a great tool. Of course it’s great when you want to rub one out in a hurry, but it can also be an awesome way to sex it up together with your S.O.
Worried about body type or sexual expectations? Concerned that you may not measure up to the massive members seen onscreen? Relax, because much has changed since your parents’ porn-viewing days. Here are a few tips on how to choose porn together.
Talk About It First
Maybe it’s as simple as asking, “What kind of porn do you watch?” (Bear in mind, a question like that can progress the conversation in a way that, “Do you watch porn?” may not.) It’s good to find out before you’re settling in to watch whether someone likes porn with a plot and plausible/emotional reasons for people to be having sex, or if someone has a thing for MILF porn, or if someone prefers amateur stuff.
Browse Together
These days, adult stores have evolved way beyond the clichéd “sticky floor stores” you might imagine. Step into a high-end shop and find knowledgeable sales staff, quality toys and lubes, books, lingerie, an instructional section, and more. Make a date out of it. Roam the shelves and look at things together. Maybe you each chose a movie for a double feature night.
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Look at Options Online
Many sites offer VOD (video on demand), where you pay per minute to watch moves or scenes. Take turns picking, and for bonus points, let your lover know what draws you to what you watch. (But regardless, please pay for your porn!)
Experiment
When you’re watching together, keep in mind that what you see is fantasy, but feel free to act things out or role-play along (consensually, of course). Experiment with emulating the positions you see onscreen that you may not normally do. Take turns giving each other oral sex while the other person gets to lie back and enjoy the view. You can even use porn as foreplay only, and see how long you can both go before you need to get your hands on one another for real.
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Set Expectations
If at any time, you don’t like what you see onscreen, find it offensive, are uncomfortable, or anything like that… agree beforehand that either of you can just say the word and the movie/scene gets switched or turned off.
Debrief
Make sure to talk afterward. It doesn’t have to be a long, drawn out inquisition—just check in with your partner and see what they did and didn’t like about what you watched. Maybe you’ll end up finding out things about each other that you didn’t know and you can use these things to even further enhance your already-awesome sex lives.
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